Happy

I never thought three months ago that I would ever find the happiness the day I felt at that concert. I have never truly been a big believer in waiting for good things to happen, but that has proven so close to true.

Since losing her in September, and November, I have been in so many different places that it's hard to remember how I came to be where I am now. I spent my time from September through January feeling like my heart was missing. I've never missed someone for that long and I've never cared to really hold on to hope. I've come from feeling like I couldn't live in this state, feeling like I couldn't make it, and feeling like I had nothing else to lose to finding out that life held so much more for me.

I spent those months teaching myself how to live a life without a phone, how to go to sleep at twelve every night, how to work out every single day, how to eat right (for once), how to do homework before it's due, and how to analyze myself and become a better person. I quickly learned the meaning of finding myself good enough, and in addition to that wonderful realization, I came to find that my past two relationships were nothing more than a filler for a void. Either way, I spent an incredible amount of time preparing for March 24th to roll around. I happen to think that my hard work and my ability to change who I am for the better led me to a better conclusion to my wait.

The post from that concert back in September, the one where I spoke of almost not being able to comprehend being hers, I get to repeat that statement. The first time I saw her at her work since being apart, I almost fell over. I couldn't catch my breath and I certainly had no clue what to do with myself. Amazingly, none of that mattered. She knew exactly how to be with me, like we had never forgotten how incredible we are together.

She is everything that I'm not and more and I am proud to call her my girlfriend, my lover, and my best friend. I am so glad that the 170 day wait is finally over.