Dancin' Machine

I have, yet ANOTHER song stuck in my head.

What a night for a dance, you know im a dancing machine
With the fire in my bones
And the sweet taste of kerosene
I get lost in the night so high dont wana come down
To face the loss of the good thing that i have found
Woo hoo hoooo Woo hoo hoooo
In the dark of the night i hear you callin my name
With the hardest of hearts, i still feel full of pain
So i drink and i smoke and i ask you if your ever around even though it was me who drove us
Right into the ground
See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while i was dreamin of revelry
Gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind in my back i wont ever even bat an eye
Just know it was you all along that had a hold of my heart
But the demon in me was a best friend from the start
So the time we shared it was precious to me
All the while i was dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry
And i told myself oh the way you go it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods it was dark as night
Palest pale of the old moonlight
Everythings felt so right to me
Dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry
"Revelry" -Kings of Leon

So... I have gotten readdicted to Kings of Leon...again. I was sitting on my couch last night thinking of this song, reading, talking to friends, and just relaxing surprisingly. For some reason, in that moment despite how tired I was, I felt that everything was right in the world. I managed to wake up with the exact same feeling and I'm going to hold onto it for as long as I can. I'm amazed this revelation came to me considering for the better part of last week I fought not being able to sleep. I finally took a sleeping pill thing and managed to knock myself out to get some sleep and to wake up and realize how truly tired I was. I've started eating healthier and have been attempting to work out in order to help myself sleep at night.

On other points, I just finished Dave Pelzer's fourth book in his series beginning with "A Child Called It" and ending with "A Man Named Dave". Reading that book truly opened my eyes to everything I need to change about myself. It put me more at ease in things that I think about myself but in the end, it taught me more than I ever could have imagined. I have so much respect for the man that wrote these books. Being able to write to the world to tell his story is something I don't think I could do. But when I look at how much effort he puts in to helping children across the world, I can see the those similarities in myself. There is nothing more that I want in my lifetime than to help children succeed in a life they never thought possible. I want to take broken children and help to make them whole again, to see that change is possible and that they do deserve a life better than they have been shown. To take a broken heart, a seemingly ruined soul, shattered hopes, and a life that only knows deceit, and to turn it into something beautiful, is more than anything I could have ever imagined for myself. I know that every day I sit in class, I'm working towards something great for myself. In the end, I want to be able to remember the countless children I've helped and feel nothing but PROUD of myself. Someday, I'm going to give a child a better life than I had, a better life than Dave Pelzer, a better life than my brother, my father, and my half sister. I'm going to take everything I am and implement it into the skills I learn to change this world, and I'm never going to lose sight of that.

Obsessed a little? Yes. But what can I say? I have a dream and nothing is getting in the way. I'm taking myself to a great life and I never want to regret anything.