Same date, different year.

I realized this morning that this time last year I still had my braces on. This is a very weird thought as I am both glad to have them off, and worried that my teeth have shifted beyond all help. (Yes, I freak about my teeth.) I also remembered that my grandmother passed away on the twenty second of December last year, and that I had to call my family to find out how she was doing, in which they informed me she had passed about ten hours ago that morning. I have an amazing family on my mothers side... not so much. It's amazing to think of what this year has brought, what things are the same and what things have changed. Last year on August 24th my girlfriend broke up with me, this year on September tenth she broke up with me again. Last year I was stupid and immature, this year I am no longer stupid and have matured greatly, not that I wasn't always mature, just that I have matured even more. I have been more than four years more mature than people my age since I was in fifth grade, a sad thought, but kind of cool in a way. Last year I learned about being faithful in relationships, and this year I have learned that honesty no matter the hurt it causes, is always better. I've learned that I help people out no matter what the cost, even if they are my ex and it kills me to help her when she loves someone else. I have learned that although everything seems so hard right now, that I am still a good person when it comes down to it. I have done my fair share of messing up, but I have also taken the time to learn from my mistakes so that they are not repeated.

I am still healing from September, and I am still healing from all the times my ex has come back. I'm learning to let go now, and I never thought I'd be able to do that. As I will be blogging later today I assume, I thought I'd put down the lyrics that mean the most to me right now.

I went outside to take a walk
So I could relive memories
I thought that you would lend a hand
But you were never ever there
It's all in your mind
You do what you wanna do
Your promises are all played out
You've got your wish you've worn me down
I treated you the best I could
I realize that I don't need you
I lost my way when you left home
I thought that you could change your life
What did I do why do you lie
You've walked back in my hands are tied
I'm tired I'm so damn angry With you
Your not gonna change
I see who you really are
Your promises your promises
They're all played out
Your so played out your so played out
There all played out

"Promises" - Adema