That you thought I'd find someone else. I've never been more willing to stay away from anyone who could be interested in me in my whole life. She was the one I wanted to show I could be faithful to. Even though right now I'm not getting my shot, I am being faithful in every single way and I love thinking about that. It's an amazing feeling to have truly given my heart away to someone. To have given it away completely. There's no getting it back and I don't want it back. For now I will focus on the fact that I am helping children, that I am focusing on school, finally back on the golf team, barely working because of practice and visiting the family in Duluth next weekend and making myself a better person. It helps to hide the pain of not being around here or being able to talk to her to keep my life filled with things to do. If the time comes and I find out she has moved on, I will support her completely and with my whole heart and I will offer her nothing but the best of luck in the future. I have always wanted her to go to a school that she wanted to go to and I have and always will want her to find her path in life and her dreams and give everything she can to follow them. I just want her to be happy with or without me, whatever it takes. She deserves so much in this life and if I cannot be the one to give it to her then so be it, I will hope she can find someone that can.
For now, I am just living. I spend time with my friends, at my internship, at work, and at golf. That is my life. There are no wild parties where I get drunk every night and there are no secret women or any intrerest in any women. It's a simple life for now. Paramore comes here in November and that will be the first night I will allow myself to truly smile. Hayley Williams, your lyrics still peirce my heart and for good reason. P.s. I've decided you're too small to consider "really"hot now. Sorry. Know I broke your heart with that one.
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